well. today i saw the most lovely pair of arms and shoulders... oh, so lovely. and they were attached to a guy who seemed really pretty fucking wonderful on the whole. and what did i do about this, nothing! god damn it. what is wrong with me? i don't understand how it is that i don't know how this works anymore. so... frustrated. i'm glad i am finding people attractive. yes. step in the right direction. but not being able to do anything about it -- because i'm *scared* -- what the hell? when did i become shy and afraid and insecure?
it could simply be that i'm so out of practice with flirting that i just completely don't know what to do anymore. but if that's so, i want it to stop. and how the hell do you practice flirting if it scares you?